The first time I called a therapist I was shaking. He asked why I wanted therapy and sent me a 10+ page form to fill out, both of which asked what my presenting concerns were. I no longer remember what I wrote, just that my first thought was, why am I doing this? I had sought discernment advice from a priest and now here I was a few weeks later calling the psychologist’s number on the card he gave me.
The second time I was looking for a therapist I called three therapists at random from a list on my insurance. While talking on the phone to the only one who called me back, I asked how the heck I was supposed to know what therapist to choose. And he told me to pick someone I was comfortable asking questions of and who actually called me back. So logically, I picked him, and made the most progress in 5 months of therapy I have made to date! Moving frequently, I have been in the unique position of finding therapists at least 6 times in the years I have been going. I’d love to share some tips, both from my own experience and recommendations I have gotten from currently practicing clinicians, about how to start your search!
How to Find a Therapist:
Do some research and shopping around. Why are you looking for a therapist? This matters greatly! Therapists, like any professionals, have a range of specialties. You want to pick someone who is knowledgeable about the topics you want to talk about. There are also a range of modalities, or methods of treatment, that can be used. Some are incredibly common, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Each has pros and cons and things they are best used to treat. I’ll list some of that kind of information below, and NAMI or PsychologyToday have additional information on types of therapy and what they best treat.
Anxiety- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Psychodynamic Therapy (deep rooted anxieties)
Depression- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Psychodynamic, Interpersonal Therapy, Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)
Trauma- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure Therapy, Psychodynamic, EMDR (not for everyone or every situation), Somatic Therapy
Addiction- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Motivational Interviewing
Obsessive Compulsive Tendencies- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), specifically a subtypeof this called Exposure and Response Prevention
Emotional Dysregulation – Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
There are different kinds of therapy? I’m not sure that I realized this until I had a therapist dismiss me. I had finished the work that I could do with him, though he recommended I seek out an alternative therapist later to do some deeper work. Here is a very brief explanation of what the terms above mean. The first is Psychodynamic. This treatment of talk therapy is focused on the internal dynamic processes that influence our person. It involves developing self-awareness and seeing how past experiences are affecting the present. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is focused on the thoughts that influence our behavior and emotions. It is a very skill-based therapy, that emphasizes changing or challenging one’s thoughts in order to change. The strength of CBT is in it’s wide application and the results that can easily be seen in daily life and overall functioning. Dialectical Behavior Therapy is an offshoot of CBT, that is incredibly helpful for learning to manage emotions and handle discomfort or conflict.
What do all those abbreviations mean? Therapist is the broadest term, but the field of mental health has many degrees and licensing distinctions within it. While some terms denote more education before licensure, a lot depends on what the mental health professional does after graduation for continuing education and trainings. Making it even more confusing, the licensure process is different for every state! A brief overview of terms can be found here: https://www.nami.org/learn-more/treatment/types-of-mental-health-professionals
Most important is to be sure that the therapist you are seeing is licensed to do the work they are doing or is training and supervised by a licensed therapist. Life coaching is currently an unregulated field and often people marketing themselves as coaches are working in the same areas as mental health professionals.You do not need a Christian or Catholic therapist. Most Catholics I know consider it a requirement that their therapist needs to hold the same religious beliefs. This presumption can be unnecessarily limiting. From personal experience, it can be wonderful to have someone who understands your religious practice. However, the therapist who helped me with some of the most foundational work, helping me be capable of trust never gave me an indication of his religious beliefs. Any competent, well-trained therapist will be respectful of your religious beliefs. If they aren’t, report them and leave.
A few reasons and topics it may be more important to stick with a Catholic perspective: sexuality issues, including pornography use and same-sex attraction, or scrupulosity.
Fit matters. Perhaps my biggest regret in my own therapy journey is not knowing this sooner. I wasted time with the first therapist I sought out on my own (versus the one I saw in undergrad because he was on campus and free). I thought since he was highly recommended any problems in our dynamic must have been my fault. I stayed and saw little to no growth in that therapy relationship. You need someone you can trust and can see yourself telling your deepest, darkest secret to without being judged or shamed. That obviously takes time to get to. After 2-3 sessions if you aren’t warming up to the person, go with your gut!
You are in control. If there is something you don’t want to talk about, feel free to set that boundary in therapy. Your therapist may tell you they can’t work around it, but more likely they will be willing to meet you where you are. If therapy is exhausting you or boring you or you really hate coming, talk to your therapist. If the therapist is defensive or doesn’t give you room to speak about difficulties in the dynamic between you, then leave. It isn’t a good place for healing if you can’t talk about what is happening in the room. Likely whatever you are struggling with and healing from has left you feeling out of control and helpless, however when it comes to therapy you are the biggest component of the healing. You, what you want and how you are feeling, matters.
Looking for a therapist near you? I usually start with either https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists or my in-network insurance list. I browse therapists, note anyone who seems to have expertise I like, pick 4 or 5 and call them. Generally only half get back and I set up initial appointments with both. If you are dead set on a Catholic Therapist you can check this list: https://www.catholictherapists.com/find-a-therapist, contact your diocese to see if they have recommendations, or look for practicing Catholic therapists advertising themselves as such.